Welcome to my House..

If my house is a mess and I don’t have the time to take care of it in a timely manner it can really take over my mind!!  Honestly, when I go to work all I think about is my messy house, at the gym, everywhere and everything I do becomes about how I am going to get the house clean…

When I realized that a messy house is the root of anxiety/stress for me I started to wonder about my Mental House.  You know, the house in your head where all your anxieties, fears etc. live.  I am constantly cleaning that house lately. I take things one situation at a time, allowing myself to enjoy the journey along the way.  Just like taking out the garbage at home, I take out the garbage in my mind that may say “This is too much work”, “You can’t”, “You may fail” …and so on and so forth.  Just like tossing old fashion magazines into the recycling when I have learned all I can from them, I will toss out the negativity that can creep into my head during tough times and I will replace it with how I am going to make it better. 

This practice is a wonderful way of making things happen.  It is a way to live life in the moment, when change occurs, when momentum builds and when magic is seen.  When people tell me, I am always energetic and upbeat, seemingly in a good mood at work and ask what my secret is I say:  Keep your luggage empty so you can always be ready to fly to a destination that is offered to you at any moment, keep your house clean and keep your Mental House clean. Take out the garbage in your head that says you CAN’T, OR WON’T OR SHOULDN’T. Replace that garbage with fresh flowers, beautiful music and a head full of POSITIVITY, SELF LOVE AND SELF WORTH. Go from thinking you are NOT Capable to being more capable than you could have imagined.  There is no Maid Service for the Mental House so get it in order by utilizing the power you posses when you are treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated.  xoxo

LET’S GO INTO 2018 WITH A LOVELY STOREY, OK?!!!!

Something beautiful happened at Future Hair Training Centre.  This is a true story.

We have many clients, hundreds, maybe thousands. And this is what one did: 

This client has seen over twenty years so many of my students.  She has seen the work I do with Scholarships to Union Gospel Mission, The Cinderella Project and YMCA.  She has always been so openly respectful of my students, no matter where they come from, what they look like on the outside and she has never judged. She has heard stories from some of my students who have lived on the streets, provided for themselves and their families including their children who at times had no clothing, no food and no hope.  She has heard about struggles no one should have to endure!! She has met students who come to FHTC broken and without confidence leave with a whole new outlook on life and themselves and was always so impressed with the work we all do with these students.  She thought it was the biggest gift we could give. She wanted to do something.  She could have donated to a charity, she could have adopted a family at Christmas, but she wanted to do more than that and she wanted to remain anonymous! She asked for an ongoing list of students enrolled in our program.  At the end of the student’s 1500 hours I present them with an envelope.  I make it clear it is NOT from me or FHTC, but from an anonymous donor.  The envelope has a wonderful letter, as if written by a close friend or family member.  It talks about what a pleasure to watch my student grow it has been for her.  She puts cash into the envelope as well.  It is not a small amount.  The letter instructs the student to treat themselves to something special because they deserve it. 

This touches me deeply, and I am sure this story will touch anyone.  The client is not rich, not doing this to tell about it in hopes that someone will tell her how fabulous she is.  I don’t even know that she reads the blogs I write or if she will see this one day.  The most amazing thing is that she is not compelled to help my students out of anything but her human nature.  I love this.  Moving into 2018 I will be grateful for such people.  The people who make a loud difference in a quiet way.  What are you going to do in 2018 to help people feel that there is always hope?  We can all do something for someone 😊

Happy New Year.  May it be filled with love and compassion for everyone.

Art is Therapy.

Have you ever woken up from a night of sleep grumpy as hell for no apparent reason?

Well that was me on Sunday. It was a Sunday, and I was GRUMPY AS HELL!!

I had a great week at work and there was simply no reason for this mood.  I got out of bed and thought I should go for a big walk on the beach to try and relax myself. I did not want to impose my monster mood on my loved one.  So off I went...

As I was on my walk all I could think about was work stuff, random holiday stuff, how many additional hours I’d work this week, how crazy clients are this time of year (umm...like me maybe??), all the anxieties that one can get about the holiday season I was having.

Fast forward a few hours in the day: I walked into our new “Art Room” at FHTC.  It was filled with Art Easels, paint, festive decorations and lovely music in the background.  As the “students” started coming in, there was a shyness...after all, no one that had signed up has any experience painting, it is just for fun that we started offering these painting days so there should be no pressure felt.  

Once everyone got settled in, the most amazing thing happened.  I was asking a mother with her young daughter what they wanted to paint together.  They talked about a reminder of a family holiday, on the other side of the easel there were two friends that decided to paint together to do something they could enjoy together.  There was a boyfriend/girlfriend painting on one easel together and a mother and son on another one.  It was beautiful.  I watched in amazement how beautiful the paintings were. 

While adoring the artwork I also couldn’t help but notice the interactions between everyone in the room. We were laughing, chatting, looking at each other’s art and getting to know each other. One of our students was painting off a picture of a temple she worships. Everyone had such beautiful reasons for their concepts.  Some more difficult than others but everyone willing to try their best and have FUN! I don’t know when my mood lifted but it did.  As the day went on it also became a bit of an open house. 

We started making Christmas cards and drawings on the side with pens and pencils.  We had some snacks and drinks as well.  The Centre filled with a creative buzz.  We were all enjoying the attention from Yves who’s so positive and encouraging while guiding each person through their creative journey.  It was so beautiful to see and experience.  How could I possibly remain grumpy??  Art is therapy!

Being creative is therapeutic! When some of the students did not finish their art at the end of the session I was happy.  I thought “Perfect, we can do this again”!!  It was not unlike a great Yoga class or Spin class that way.  Everyone helped to tidy up, we put away the easels and arranged times for everyone to come back to complete their art.  Those that had enough time in this session took their canvas home with such delight.  It was such a feeling of community.  It was cool that everyone’s art was so unique.  Everyone was so proud of their work too.  No one said they did not like it or it wasn’t good enough.  There was encouragement and inspiration from everyone.  It an experience.

A day of painting with a small group can restore community.  No cellphones, getting paint on your hands, on your clothes, laughing at yourself. All the things we no longer make a priority in society.  We are so caught up in work and trying to balance all our duties.  I experienced it first-hand Sunday:  Art is therapy!!  A wonderful escape!  I did not do a canvas yesterday.  I was inspired to draw and make Christmas Cards even though anyone who knows me knows I am a competitor of Scrooge himself, not a big fan of it all!!!  Painting Christmas cards  gave me a new lease on the season and a more positive mood.  Who would have known!!!!  Perhaps it’s the contact with others, being vulnerable enough to show our art to each other without judgement. 

It restores faith that there is so much positivity about getting together and socializing with others outside of social media even when you feel super busy with work and the holidays.  In person, we are all the same.  We forget that when we see how perfect people are on Social Media.  After my major mood change yesterday I am still feeling it today.  I woke up feeling like there is more to the holiday season than working and shopping for silly presents, I learned that collectively, we can all alter each other’s moods from negative to positive by coming together in person rather than online.

I look forward to more art days.  I look forward to more families creating art together, to sisters, friends, husbands and wives, boyfriend and girlfriends...put the cell phones and tablets down and open the creativity for a few hours once in a while. You never know what it will unlock in you!!! 

Art is Therapy! 

Single Seeing Double: Together We are Two

I saw on Facebook something my former Assistant once text to me that went like this: People ask me, “Why are you single?  You’re attractive, intelligent and creative.”  My reply is “I’m overqualified”.

I like this saying.., I think it’s funny but didn’t think it was truly me.. This is where one could say “But Cynthia, you are not single, you are in a relationship for one year with a wonderful, handsome and caring man”.  Yes, I am and yes I am also single but then I ask myself what defines me. I choose to be defined not by the work I do, but by what work I have done on myself to remain independent. 

I will pass this along to anyone who struggles with their own independence that if being independent means being alone or being single that it can feel even more lonely if you are with the wrong company, and that is a fact!

I only know from my own experience.  I have had my business for over 20 years now and I am NOT defined by that.  I am proud of what I have cultivated but also see that I have more to offer than my abilities to take care of my business and myself.  I often hear women being introduced as “so and so's wife or so and so’s mother”.  I have been introduced as “The owner of Future Hair Training Centre”.  It doesn’t offend me.  In fact, as a single independent woman it is a compliment.  I read a comment on the post I mentioned that was from a lady saying she was tired of being defined as a single woman.  One should not be defined by SINGLE OR DOUBLE OR COUPLE OR MARRIED OR DIVORCED ETC. ETC.

One wants to be defined by their actions, their own description of themselves or by their achievements.  Being single is tough because you must be independent and find your way through the day to day struggles of work, life, and socializing with the anxieties that may come with traveling and socializing on your own.  Being married or in a loving relationship with someone is tough because you will have expectations that perhaps “Together you are ONE”, that together your needs will be the same, therefore easier because you will both share the load but what happens when you both want a different load?  What if you change while married and your spouse doesn’t “approve”?  Sometimes people don’t change while in a relationship because they fear being judged by the spouse who believes they know him or her like the back of their hand.  We always change and evolve with the right people around us because the right people will keep us on our toes and make us confident in making good choices and decisions.  This is true of friends and lovers!

Where does this all leave us? Better to be single or married??  Is it possible to be both single and married, or single and in a relationship?  I think it’s up to us as individuals to live a life that is for us. 

Perhaps that means getting married and having children that you nurture and help to create adults that will go out and do the same or create a life for themselves that is completely different from you.  Maybe this means traveling the road less traveled, having adventures, falling in love and maintaining who you are while letting others into your life along the way. There must be a way to remain single while in a relationship.  I don’t suggest to always do everything your way. Not suggesting that by remaining single in a relationship that you do not compromise or skip the “give and take”.  What I am suggesting is that we do not use being single or otherwise as a definition of who we are.

If you do not want to be defined as someone's girlfriend or as a married or single person, simply make whatever you do count so much that you are always seen as an individual.  If you wake up every day defining who you are and feeling you are ready to take on the day- then you are SINGLE!

Whether you are married with ten children and have six grandchildren or whether you have never been on a date your entire life.  Seek out the love and adventure and success that drives you.  If you fall in love and someone is lucky enough to partake in your life, consider it magic.  Be proud, be strong in this world of phony and unreal reality. Be YOU in the world, not the online world but the world that allows you to be 100% depending on how you feel when you wake up as it will change every day. Someone will appreciate you as a single individual but only if you appreciate yourself.  This is something I know from experience as I am in the best relationship with the best man whom I love very much while committing to myself to be single and independent forever!

I want to know what you would be happy to have define you??  Is it being a professional, being a mother, being a wife, a single, a teacher, a sister, or all the above? How do you define yourself?

Love Conquers Every Time

Today is a big day for me.  When I was given the news that the building that has occupied my business for the better part of 15 years is being demolished I was not without FEARS!  Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE my work.  I would never have lasted in education in British Columbia if I didn’t. 

As anyone with anxiety would understand, I had some decisions to make.  Not to suggest I have it all figured out, as I am not quite there yet!!  Back to today being such a big day....I am given the opportunity to “try on” a location that is big, super big, like 3700 square feet bigger than my current locations and bigger than my last.  The funny thing is that it’s the size of my original location many years ago which was set on fire and burned down in front of my eyes eight months into my first ten month class!!!!!!  Read my past blog on that story if you haven’t already!

Who (other than me) gets the opportunity to “try on a space”????  So blessed, so lucky.  I am excited and slightly overwhelmed which is why I mentioned it to a friend of mine that I often have meaningful and what I would consider deep conversations; honest, raw and always with enthusiasm and honesty.  When I was saying to my friend:  “What if it’s too big, what if I can’t handle it, what if our clients don’t follow.....” she said this:

We are led by two emotions:

LOVE

FEAR

Hummmm....ok.  that says it all.  It’s what turned my anxiety and wonder/worry into excitement and anticipation.  It also made me invite students, instructors, friends and family to come check out this location because I want to see what everyone thinks. I care about sharing what’s going on with Future Hair Training Centre with everyone that has helped to create this Beauty Culture that has grown like families do over the years.  My realization is quite simple.  When you allow FEAR to control you you will get what comes with FEAR which is stress, anxiety, fear itself not allowing you to move forward, ultimately stunting your growth.  Unless it’s at the PNE or a Haunted House for Halloween (scary movie etc. ), we don’t typically enjoy FEAR.  LOVE on the other hand comes with so much positivity.  Sounds so obvious as I write it but we don’t stop and ask ourselves “Wait, is this stress/anxiety etc. coming from FEAR OR LOVE?”  When I get stressed now I think of my friend”s words and ask myself what my FEAR is.  Then, I turn it around.  Most FEAR should probably be dealt with.  My FEAR was that this big dreamy space might not work out or be too much to handle.  My LOVE for my work, my wonderful support staff and student’s and of course loved ones are all so empowering that it gives me strength to say otherwise.   I don’t believe that ALL WE NEED IS LOVE. I do know that we need a lot more of it. I know that it is easier to receive great things from friends, family and the Universe by being guided by LOVE.  Share your dreams with those you love and it will grow like magic.  Believe you are worth it all, everything you want and it will happen.  Come from a place of LOVE not FEAR and pass that LOVE around!!  xox

Inspiration Can Be Anywhere

I had the most inspiring experience at work the other day.  I was chatting with our Stylist while she worked on her client.  I thought the client was a client that had come to Future Hair Training Centre in the past but didn’t recognize her as a “regular” patron.  After walking away, I could hear her asking the Stylist questions about me, suggesting she knew me.  The Stylist then came to me saying “My client thinks she knows you”.  I approached her.  She was smiling, I knew it was a familiar face when she said “Luc Savard” to me.  I was instantly warmed to my soul. 

Luc was my end all be all Hair God.  He was my Mentor, my Confidant, my Teacher about hair but also fear, Arts, Fashion, you name it.  It is sad that Luc is no longer living today to see what I have achieved, as I know he would be proud.  I often see someone walking by the big windows at work and think it’s him for a moment in time. I have always felt his presence.  When I came to Vancouver he was my first job.  We were the perfect fit.  After I left him to find my own ways we were always in touch.  He was always there for me and me for him.  After going out on my own, I returned to work side by side this time as his partner by sharing the rent.  After that ended for me, not quite exciting enough I was not ready to be tied down quite yet and my desire for traveling while teaching Hairdressing was beginning.  I had no idea that years later, again I would pair with him in his death by starting my school in the space he would leave behind, the same space I started in years before!  I loved starting Future Hair Training Centre there (Broadway at Maple) because I felt his presence gave me strength every day.  That was the location that later had a fire (if you don’t know THAT story read my last blog!!)

The most wonderful thing was how candid the client was.  She straight out said that she was so very happy that it’s me, that I looked so fantastic for my age, and that she was loving the experience she was having in my business; she said that Luc would be so proud.  I was so touched.  It was the impression of me in my youth (the last memory of me she has was in 1989 by the way) that struck me.  She said I was Avant Garde which I thought was kind of cool.  I was very much into music and clubbing and I could see where she would think that because she was on the conservative side.  She had concerns for my well-being as well.  She was lovely, you could see how pleased she was that I had turned out well. 

As I told her about my business and a bit of personal story, I was so proud of how successful she saw me.  I was proud that she was also so proud and then the conversation went back to Luc Savard. I said that he was such a pivotal part of my success.  I said that without hearing his voice still in my head, not always kind as he was a Taurus like myself: swift, direct and honest.  No one is prepared for honesty all the time!!  Not always easy to hear but with Luc I would listen. It was then I realized what defines success for me.  It was then that I thought about what a privilege it is that so many students that we have trained at FHTC have told me that I have been that source for theml

I define success by those I have and will continue to help to achieve their own success.  They say people come into your life for a reason.  I believe that.  Even in passing, Luc inspires me to share with others the passion for Beauty Culture and Education to everyone I can with respect and love for what I do.  When I feel his hand pat me on the back at the end of a hard day I will know it was all worth it if someone out there feels the way I feel about Luc about me!! 

Opportunities don't happen, you create them.

Although Future Hair Training Centre has a huge following and we have successfully trained many many students over the 20+ years, I still get asked about the “story behind The Centre”.  Here it is:

I decided to start a small training centre to educate people in what I love doing and teaching (basically living as most Professional Stylists’ do).  Like most young Entrepreneurs, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Firstly, finding the start up money was difficult at best as banks just had no idea the difference between a salon and a school of hairdressing?????  I managed to get my hands on $20K and decided that would be sufficient. Found a lease, started on renovations, signed up my first batch of 8 students for September, very exciting!!  New and beautiful Future Hair Training Centre was in full force.  Eight months into the first ten-month class and we were on our way to becoming accredited with high hopes (what could stop me now???)

Working late, no biggie, smells like,…hummm…maybe a bbq??  Nope, full on fire!!  The guys at the Cigar Co. next door run in to tell me we are on fire!!  Can’t be!!  What??  My Aesthetician was completing a service and I was in my office.  We run out only to see that yes, indeed we are on fire!!

Days of torment and absolute drama over what to do was to come.  According to the reports it was arson (it was clear that it was from the upstairs unit but not hard proof at this early stage).  The landlord had a couple months to decide what to do, the insurance would be void should I get another lease before it was settled, basically this was a disaster.  I was having an anxiety attack every minute on the hour FOR SURE!! 

Meanwhile, many lovely people were offering their support and help as it was all over the news.  One of which was the West End Community Centre downtown where I had done volunteer work in the past (See, it does help to help, it does help to be good and do good, I am living proof J ).  I took them up on their offer to use their Youth Centre because if the student is out of the classroom for any reason they must be dismissed after two weeks.  This was not/is not my rule, it is simply compliance with the rules of British Columbia and being Accredited! Remember that these students were two months from graduating and beginning their careers in this industry!!

Within the two-week period my friends, family, boyfriend at the time and lawyer said to pack it in and try another time…. go back to work as a Stylist.  Not meant to be etc. etc.  I had many job opportunities come my way but there was no way I was giving up on this dream.  It just felt like I should be educating people how to do hair and I was not giving up even though I had no money, no location, and at this point no insurance either!!  No problem, found a salon that had closed in a neighborhood that was on the quiet side but would do.

Let’s fast forward 24 (yes, 24) years.  Future Hair Training Centre is still in the neighborhood I moved it to after the fire, except that it is now one of if not the busiest corridor in North America thanks to the Canada Line, the 2010 Olympics and Vancouver’s growing spurt that I am proud to have been a part of.  It was not easy.  Every day I worked and worked hard.  The space I moved into had sinks and a lot of ruminants of a previous salon behind which I took great advantage of.  Although my original $20K was spent on pretty things, I left this location on the “raw” side and prettied it up along the way.  I have no idea why the landlord gave it to me without looking into my status at the time.  I had the survivor instinct in me and was literally unstoppable.  I convinced everyone around me that everything was just fine until it actually was.

I never gave up.  I never could.  Since then FHTC has moved a third time, as the building that I found refuge in after 10 years was demolished.  We moved from Cambie on Broadway to Broadway at Cambie.  It is lovely.  Busy, modern and we are smack in the middle of it all.  I never saw myself on the Broadway corridor, I also did not see the Olympics coming and giving us the Canada Line to our front door. 

Since opening, FHTC has become Fully Registered, Fully Accredited and successful for almost 25 years.  This year we added Microblading Classes which is a totally new venture as well.  In fact, as I write this out, I am reminded of the importance to change your mindset, change your goals and aspire to always take what is given to you not as negative or a slap in the face but as a positive and a push in the right direction if it’s what you choose…………….it is only YOU who can choose.  Do what I did and choose to fight tooth and nail for your dream, for your story, for your legacy and be stronger than your fear!

At this time the Centre employs a handful of instructors and support staff plus myself.  I have managed over all these years to build a Beauty Culture Centre which is full of love and support of everyone who is here, whether it is student, client or staff.  Every day we see the result in persevering and also we teach so much more than hair, we teach Life Skills, the importance of maintaining your integrity, and fulfilling your dreams knowing that they will change; uproot you and drive you a little mad at times JThat’s the fun part tee hee.  We never know what’s coming down the line, the world is changing and so are we as humans, it’s the one thing we can count on CHANGE!  It’s not something we can stop doing.  I always remember an instructor I worked with telling me once that I was like a teabag.  You would never know how strong I am until I am in hot water!!  It’s true.  This year will be full of change for myself and for Future Hair Training Centre……I hope the changes are met with positivity and acceptance by all but if it’s not, that’s ok. too.  Stay tuned!!
Xox, Cynthia Skabar/ Future Hair Training Centre, Vancouver BC.

www.futurehairtraining.com

TO MAGNETIC LASH OR NOT TO MAGNETIC LASH…MY EXPERIENCE

Maybe you have heard about the magnetic eyelashes?  Or maybe you haven’t been on Facebook for a while because it seems to be popping up constantly!!  Of course I had to try it out.  As the one that feels the need to keep going back for eyelash extensions whenever I am going on holidays then having regret for six months as they grow back at a snail’s pace! 

When I began obsessing over my lashes looking as amazing as they looked on Facebook with the magnetic lashes I couldn’t wait to order them.  I was thinking I would be wearing them every day for the rest of my life. Never again would I succumb to the urge to get again!!   YES!!!

Ok.. maybe I got a little carried away!  By the time they arrived I had watched several YouTube video applications and some made it look so easy some made themselves look so silly trying to put them on that I wondered if it was for show.  The first time I put them on it was relatively easy.  I flaunted around, posted a photo on all our Social Media and thought I found the ticket to success!!  Until the next morning when I couldn’t get them on to save my life!!  Ugh, three days later is this morning…..I spent about half hour trying with no success until “BAM” thought I got it, wore them for a couple hours and here I am writing this withOUT my magnetic lashes on because all I could see was them.  I had these thoughts of looking up from the desk to help a client and having them half on half off or worse lol.

I am not suggesting you NOT get them or try them because I really do like them. I would recommend every fashionista have a set on hand!!  I am just saying that they are not going to be my daily routine even if I do get used to putting them on.  I will wear them as much as I can and know that the ones from    One Two Lash (Instagram handle: @onetwolash www.onetwocosmetics.com) are well made and great quality.  Sure to last me a long time.    They will be fun from time to time but I am pretty sure I will be trying to get eyelash extension appointments before my next tropical vacation again!!! 

Microblading, the newest beauty trend.

Microblading: Everyone is teaching it, everyone is doing it, and everyone is getting it done!!

     For those of you who didn't know, Future Hair Training Centre has been hosting microblading classes! When it comes to bringing in an Instructor into my Centre, I am very picky about their experience, skill, and qualifications. After all, this is altering a persons physical appearance! When is comes to qualifications this may include hours spent on clients, classes or courses taken to master this new in demand craft, along with safety and sterilization. All participants in our classes know the ins and outs of being fully aware of infection control, the use of sterile needles, the practice of discarding all used materials, etc.

     I am not writing this as a testimonial as to why you should come to my Training Centre to learn this skill, I am writing this to offer a few words of advice so everyone interesting in learning has some educated questions to ask. I, as the owner of a school with 25 years of education experience; have done my homework and in doing so I have been surprised at some of the answers received from some of the businesses selling classes. Something I noticed is that there are all these people advertising that one will take a class by a Certified Instructor and the participant will learn in as few as two, three, or five days the art of Microblading. Which will allow them to charge $400.00-$600.00 per service, become certified, and open a business where they will be Instafamous in the industry.

      Microblading is an art form and something that can not be perfected over night, it takes years of skill and practice. How is it possible for anyone to take three to five days and become an expert? Even in hair dressing (which is not opening peoples skin, let alone working on their face) are hundreds of hours required to learn the craft at a BASE LEVEL. When I called one of the businesses advertising microblading to ask about the classes that they are offering all over the place, I asked 'who the instructors are certified by?' (common question I myself receive about our instructor) they seemed very confused. When I stated it was clearly written on the e-mail they had sent me, they responded with the company certified itself?? UMMMM, there I basically NO licensing in British Columbia. Along with Hair, Skin, and Nails, there is no association! Therefore, no licensing required. I find it concerning that all the businesses/instructors teaching Microblading say they are "Certified" yet when I ask by whom, they become confused?? I have come up with a few questions one should ask when doing their due diligence. This is after all changing someone's appearance permanently.

1) Who is the teacher and what are their qualifications? If they are Certified, by whom?
2) Where does the training take place? Is both theory and practical in the same location?
3) Is the instructor Blood Borne Pathogern trained? If so, by whom
4) How many years has the instructor been in business?
5) Where did the instructor train?
6) What Kit supplies do you receiver with the class?
7) Can you prove the certification of the instructor? As many people are counterfeiting others credentials and work.
8) Do the products come from China? There is no safety standards or regulations in this country?
9) Is there support after the class?

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What happens when we stand up to our bullies.

I DON’T GET BLOCKED ON SOCIAL MEDIA MUCH, BUT WHEN I DO….

   I have been thinking a lot about bullying lately.  When I was a young girl I was bullied in grade 4 badly by a girl much bigger in size than me.  I began to get nervous about going to school.  The more this bully bothered me at the bus stop to and from school the more I dreaded going to school.  I am already terribly shy (yes I am) so this could have really had impact on my personality. Let me just say, I am lucky to be the last of seven children!!  When my brother noticed and asked me what was up I told him about my bully.  His response was so simple it may have been the first time I experienced the whole men are from Mars women from Venus analogy.  He said to take care of it the way I would if it was my sister bothering me. 

    Of course I got off the next day and beat up my bully!!!!  I am NOT condoning violence AT ALL but it worked.  I felt on top of the world when I went running home, leaving her glasses flying in the wind behind her…. OK, maybe that was added drama to read but I did really let her have it!!  After the adrenaline wore off I went home and hid in my room wondering if I was going to get in trouble for standing up to my bully. I actually heard my Mother when the young girls' Mother came to the door.  “My Cindy?”  Um, “No, not my Cindy, have you seen the size of her?”.  She didn’t think it was even possible.  I waited for my Father to come home and fessed up.  “Yes, I did beat up the girl from down the street”.  I hate to admit it but I think my Father was proud of me.  Again, not condoning violence but I was pretty small, took a long time to get my growing spurt so in retrospect I think he was just happy I could take care of myself after I spoke of the bullying I had endured.

    Here it is, over thirty years later.  I have expressed many times how happy I am that I did not grow up with the internet, particularly Social Media as I don’t know if my skin was thick enough to handle the likes, the no likes, the comments, the no comments etc. and so forth.  UNTIL everyone becomes a reviewer of everyone and every business.  What does this have to do with bullying??  Well, here’s an example of my most recent case (although by the time this is posted there may be a whole new slew of stories)…

    I answer the phone at work one day last week.  It was Jeannie Rush on the line asking the cost of a haircut.  I asked her how long her hair was as she had NEVER been to my business before.  She was clearly annoyed at the questioning, replying with a “Why? I don’t want a perm!!!”  I said that we would never book a perm unless asked.  She then got angry when I said our students haircut on hair below the shoulders costs $20 including the shampoo, conditioning, and styling.  She basically lost her shit on me.  I suggested she go elsewhere if the cost wasn't in her budget.  She said it’s too expensive for a student’s service, she became hostile before I suggested that if she’s looking for a “cheap” service to go to one of the franchises that will trim dry for a low cost.  This seemed to upset her more and she said “No, I will review your business instead”. 

    In comes the reviews!!  Remember, this person (Jeannie Rush) has NEVER even stepped foot in my business.  I made her mad with a reasonably quoted price on a hair cut and she reviewed pure garbage lies.  She stated that she came for a perm and her hair fell out????  I tried to contact Google and flag it, she also Yelped that she had a bad hair service with my salon.  Interesting that even when I found her on Twitter (@babybunniebaby) and tweeted to Google about how much I hope they will see that it is totally FAKE review but with no response from Google, she tweeted back that my school sucks and to go to VCC for hair services!!!  She has NEVER stepped into my business.  In fact, she wanted to but was too cheap!!!  She blocked me on Twitter.  I have been told I am relentless at times on the obsessive.  I had to find her on Facebook under hername and also to make 100% that it was in fact the person I spoke with on the phone as I would NEVER shame someone without knowing I am shaming the right one!!

  Oh, and her hair by the way was all there!!  She said in her “review” that it fell out after a perm we did.  Should one not have to provide proof of such an accusation before Google and Yelp post them??  Bullying is not just for kids that are in school.  Bullying is for anyone who, like Jeannie Rush, have a chip on their shoulder that bares a lot of split ends that she thinks she’s entitled to having cut for a very cheap cost to her or she will come after you on Social Media and any Review Site that will allow her to!!!  When children bully it’s bad, when adults bully it’s cowardly!  DON’T BE A BULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!